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My schedule the past few weeks has been packed, at least by my definition. I'm constantly moving between activities with the kids, computer time, and housework. The space in between the activities is dwindling, with less and less time to pause before moving onto the next thing. It is that which has me concerned.
I used to THRIVE on this type of frantic schedule. I lived with a constant sense of anxiety in my stomach. If that anxiety wasn't there, it felt like something must be wrong. (....Yeah.) I was busy and felt justified in that busy-ness. An exhausted sigh and a glance at my watch before I started a conversation made me feel important.
I had a lot to learn.
I.
I very distinctly remember that walk.
We were on a trail in one of our favorite state parks, all four of us. My husband, son, and I were walking along at a persistent pace. My daughter, on the other hand, was stopping at every hole in the ground to peer inside, sniffing each flower to see if it had an inviting scent, and picking up each fallen leaf to determine if she already had that color in her leaf collection.
At first, we were all entertained and often joined in her exploration. The farther we got down the path, however, the more anxious each of us became.