Turn Down The Volume

Turn down the volume on those unwanted thoughts that are wrecking your life

so that you can hear the thoughts that will help you to create a better one.

Photo by Joël in 't Veld on Unsplash

Everyone has those incessant thoughts - the ones that crash every single party, night or day.

They are the ones that tell you that you should be someone better or that you should be doing something more productive or more helpful or more “perfect”. They are the ones that gripe and complain and bitch about everyone else and the stupidity of those people and the weather and the traffic and the lines. They are the ones that whisper, you are going to fail at this, you don’t belong here, they are going to find out you are faking it and you will be humiliated.

They are the thoughts that pop up every single day, like a soundtrack to your life. And even if you think that you have learned to ignore them or that they aren’t really THAT big of a deal, ….sorry, you would be incorrect.

They are manipulating and directing your actions and emotions and well-being in profound ways, and most likely keeping you from the type of life that you want to be experiencing.

Thoughts are slippery little suckers. It’s great to be able to think about trying to control one’s thoughts - but the problem is, the thinker is often the same as the party crasher.

It’s like whispering to the party crasher, “Ok - there is a really annoying guy here. How can we kick him out?" The party crasher just laughs and laughs and laughs and then decides to annoy you more. (Kind of like kids on some days, come to think of it.)

The fun part is that the same mind that allows that annoying guy and those annoying thoughts in is the same mind that can do something about it. You just have to learn how to play, how to access the helpful parts instead of being drowned by the not-so-helpful parts.

To do that, you can use - guess what - the exact same mind. (That li’l gal does so much for you, doesn’t she?)

Your imagination can help you create - and slowly live into - the life you want to be living … free of party crashers.

Try this:

Imagine those thoughts (the shoulds, the regrets, the worries about which you can do nothing, the could-have-beens, the hates of that which is unknown, the fears and anger over that which is unknown, the never-enoughs) - ALL of those thoughts that weigh you down and keep you from a mundane peacefulness - as those party-crashers.

They are loud, unwelcome, and need to go.

Unfortunately, you can’t kick them out. The mind, bless her little self, has an all-are-welcome type attitude. You can’t force thoughts away.

Instead, you can turn down the volume on those unwanted thoughts.

You can move (by imagination or physically) to another room and close the door.

In this room, you control who enters and who is allowed to stay. You can still hear the party crashers, those unwanted, incessant buggers, outside. But the words they yell are muffled, made into a low hum behind the heavy door. Even if you know they are still there, you can no longer understand what they are saying.

In this room, it is peaceful. There are guests you invited back when your best-self was planning this party. There are guests (thoughts) who will support you, offer you comfort, and even those who will challenge you (because, after all, moving into your best self isn’t all champagne and strawberries and unicorns).

In this room, you have space to listen. To breathe.

Each time an unwanted thought tries to sneak in, simply stand up, close the door, and direct your attention back to those thoughts that deserve your awareness. Every once in awhile, you might need to acknowledge the guests outside because, if left ignored, they tend to get a bit insistent.

Simply say, “Yes, I know you are there. I can hear you. I have other things to attend to.” And let their whines and protests drop back into the background hum.

Turn up the volume of the silence.

Turn up the volume of those inner voices who guide you towards strength, authenticity, self-expression, empathy.

Turn up the volume on the music of your soul and dance to the rhythm.