Hi.
Photo taken on my walk today. It was a beautiful, windy day. At least moments like these feel normal.
Hi.
There is no time like the present to just be real. To drop pretenses. After all, everything that is going on around us has reminded us that the things we've been taking for granted as our reality - health, jobs, even something as simple as leaving our homes and interacting with others - are not guaranteed in life.
What we are left with is uncertainty, unknowing, and the responsibility to go within our own heads and re-examine what day-to-day reality is ... and how we participate in creating that reality.
So I'm coming to you, no filters, and just saying "hi". (And maybe a few more things.)
First, a bit of a person-to-person check-in.
I live in Southern Indiana, in the midwest of the United States. We are still near the bottom of the slope as far as diagnosed cases. It's unsettling to continuously come to terms with that. Our state is under a "stay-at-home" order until April 7, but what is considered essential to leave the house for seems fairly unrestricted. (We can get carry-out food, walk in parks as long as we maintain physical distance, and still visit our local hardware stores if needed.)
My husband is a pharmacist, so his job continues outside of the home. We take even greater precautions because of that (including the immediate changing of his clothes upon arriving home, shower before anything else, etc.). We wipe down all door, sink, and toilet handles and light switches daily. My two teenage kids are e-learning, and we are still learning how to navigate loose schedules and self-discipline.
These are things I never thought I'd be writing.
I find myself increasingly at peace (or perhaps just complacent?) with our ongoing new surreality. Moments of extreme anxiety pop in every once in awhile. Often, I just have to pause and sit with them. Cry, feel the fear, the gut-wrenching anxiety, the shortness of breath (due to worry, not an infection). And/but, I'm thankful for my breathing, meditation, and other practices that help re-ground me as time progresses.
One day, one breath at a time.
I'm honestly curious to know how you are existing with all of this. If you would like, please comment on this post and check in with me.
Second, a bit of contemplation - particularly for my American friends, but applicable across the world. It can be summed up in one word:
Sustainability.
I'm hearing a lot of conversation online these days around the fervent pleas to STAY AT HOME. There around thousands of people, at least around the states, that are ignoring the orders and requests to physically distance. (Here's an interesting article on reasons why that might be.) Honestly, it's infuriating.
Many who are making these pleas are those who are actually staying at home, or those who are on the front lines of the health care system - seeing and dealing with, first hand, the consequences of this pandemic. (If you are one of those, or anyone who is still working due to your job being considered essential, THANK YOU.)
I'm noticing something that I find a bit concerning, though, from the latter group (the ones practicing strict safety). There is a tendency to speak in stricter and stricter terms as the infected cases continue to rise (as we knew they would). Precautions against even the most minimal of infectious possibilities are being taken and touted as absolutely necessary.
What concerns me are that these efforts are not sustainable.
What concerns me is the lack of psychological grasp that ALL of us are able to take on the duration of this virus and the related need for our physical distancing. (We are not to blame. This is new to every one of us, and to imagine even several weeks - not to mention a good year - of these new norms of confinement simply isn't something our minds are prepared to take on.)
"Flattening the curve" does not mean that we are squishing the number of infections and deaths to a lower number AND within a shorter amount of time. It means that we are actually spreading out the length of this pandemic to reduce the number of infected at any given time and to give our health care systems a way to adequately care for those people (instead of overwhelming the system with too many cases). To reduce suffering and deaths, we have to recognize that we are in this for the long haul.
What concerns me is that as we make appropriate efforts to ensure our collective physical health, we are not adequately recognizing the tolls on psychological well-being. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health (something that, even during "normal" times, our society fails to recognize).
What I am saying probably isn't popular and is open to attacks from all sides.
I get it, whatever you want to say. If you are immunocompromised or living with someone who is, I completely understand the desire that everyone isolates for as long as it takes. If you are healthy and physically distancing, but already feeling the anxiety from lack of interaction, I completely understand the desire to get out and maybe just hug one person. And I understand the anger from both sides towards the other.
We all have to pause and recognize these diversity of feelings.
We all have to pause and recognize that we are in this together - that our individual actions affect dozens, thousands, or millions of others (as they always have).
We all have to pause and recognize that we are individual humans - with important needs that include AND go beyond physical health.
We all really need to pause and breathe fully more often.
And.
We all have to pause and recognize that we are co-creating a new reality every single minute of every single day.
What you practice today is creating something and makes it more likely that you will practice the same tomorrow.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't practice suppressing them. That's not healthy.
Allow yourself to release your feelings. Don't practice holding onto them. That's not healthy.
Allow yourself to be compassionate towards your partner, your child, your neighbor, even the person practicing physical distancing differently than you would. We are all freaked out by this.
We all don't know. Let me repeat that: We all don't know.
Allow yourself to be engaged with creating the reality you DO want to be living in. If that means complete physical distancing for several months, by all means, please do. If that means intense physical distancing for a few weeks, then responsible physical distancing (6 ft +) for a bit, by all means, please do.
(Be mindful if you are practicing social engagement and ignoring physical distancing at this point. Is a reality of ego-based behavior and probable harm to others because of that behavior something you desire? If it is ... well, just stop it. I'm creating my reality right now through these words, and I'm telling you that type of behavior isn't something I want in my life.)
I'm feeling anxious as I finish writing this, in all honesty.
Bringing to mind all of these things opens the flood gates to so many more.
So I'm going to stop writing for now, go for a walk, meditate, grab another coffee...something to help me to re-find my breath.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. However you are existing in this crazy world right now, thank you for being with me as we navigate it all.