Breathe With Me
My kids on one of our recent socially-distanced walks
There's not really a way to start a communication in such surreal times, is there?
I've wanted to write to you so many times over the past days, but the words I want to share keep changing. Everything seems to be changing so quickly. And nothing I can say seems to reflect the complexity of it all.
I find many of my communications these days start with a knowing smile, a quick laugh, and then a long, drawn-out sigh. It's as if we are all collectively agreeing that we don't know what to say ... and, with that little laugh and deep breath, admitting that is ok.
If only for this moment, it is ok to not know.
We wake up another day, learn what has changed or what has stayed the same, and do our best to navigate through the next several hours with that information.
My current world:
I live in Bloomington, Indiana, right in the heart of the midwest United States. As of the time of writing this, all of our restaurants and bars are closed (delivery-only). Some of our city parks have been closed. The local university, Indiana University, has cancelled their classes for the remainder of the semester (online learning only). Our grade schools are currently e-learning only until March 30th, but I have no doubts that will be extended....probably throughout the end of the year.
As a testament to how quickly things are changing:
While I was typing this, our governor declared all schools closed until at least May 1, 2020. Continuing to breathe as everything changes faster than I can keep up with it.
I'm mostly isolating in our house with my husband, two teenage kids, and our large dog. Because the two kids are technically on their spring break right now and e-learning hasn't started, we are keeping ourselves busy independently and sometimes, together. We are all spending a lot of time on electronics, but we are also playing games, completing puzzles, taking our dog for drives, walking around the neighborhood, going for hikes, cooking a lot more, reading, and cleaning.
My husband is a pharmacist at a retail store, and will return to work this weekend after a pre-scheduled vacation. I'm already expecting that he will be exposed to the virus, so we have been practicing a stricter form of social distancing already (no play dates, no unnecessary trips out of the house, etc.).
All of us are thankfully healthy and well at this point. I know of friends in the area who are ill and mostly likely have the virus. However, due to an extremely frustrating lack of testing, we don't really know how prevalent it is in our area. (Acknowledging, too, that there are probably plenty of us who are asymptomatic but carrying the virus.)
My feelings are all over the place, changing almost as quickly as the news around the world.
I find myself deeply anxious about the unknown consequences that face us months from now and jittery over the constantly-changing (or non-existent) schedules in our home. And then I'll find myself extremely excited over the beautiful connections that are being made (so many free courses offered, people exhibiting compassion in profound ways, neighbors helping one another, etc) and immersed in figuring out how I can best be of service during these times.
And, of course, throughout it all - breathing.
For You:
Here are a few random thoughts I've wanted to pass along, in no particular order.
BREATHE. As everything goes topsy-turvy, you need anchors in your day. Your breath is such an important one. If you are still fortunate to be able to breathe, delight in it. FEEL it. Intentionally bring the air into your lungs and down towards your core, then with gratitude, release it fully back into the world. Do this repeatedly throughout the day, especially when you feel yourself starting to spin.
The LITTLE THINGS MATTER. They always have, but now we are recognizing just how much. (One person, one handshake, one invisible little virus upends our world.) You can use this to your advantage, to increase your well-being. Consciously engage with the little things in your life - the taste of your soup, the sound of the rain, the feel of your toothbrush in your mouth. Light a candle to scent your home, make your bed each and every morning, move your body and release lethargic energy. Stretch, fold the laundry, make the phone call to your loved one. Consciously create each day.
WHAT YOU ARE FEELING IS OK. Whatever it is. Fear, acceptance, elation, anxiety. It is ok. Don't add the weight of judgment to your emotions - they are heavy enough as they are. That being said....
WE ARE ALL INTERCONNECTED. This is a beautiful and challenging realization that has been driven home by this pandemic. Whatever you are feeling is absolutely ok. What you do with those feelings has consequences that influence us all. If you are feeling fed-up and OVER this all, and decide to just head out to socialize, you are greatly increasing the risks for so many. If you are feeling anxious, isolated, and choose to talk to someone about it all, your sharing might be the saving grace for someone else who is feeling exactly as you are. And so on. Beyond judgment, there are consequences. Your consequences influence mine and mine influence yours. Just be aware of this, and choose with compassion for us all.
There's so much more I want to say. But for now, I'll just smile in your direction, offer a little laugh, and then a deep sigh.